has anyone ever stopped to think about what ridiculous animals goats are
WHAT THE FUCK
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE
ARE THESE ANIMALS EVEN REAL
????? ?? ? ???????//
SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME
Let me tell you guys the true story of my first-hand witness of Spider-Goat.
It was on a hike back when I was in Boy Scouts that we encountered a seemingly nonchalant Mountain Goat on the trail. We immediately stopped upon seeing it on the path ahead. The walkway was rather narrow. On one side you had a hundred foot drop off down to a concrete road below, on your other side there was about a fifty foot rugged rock wall that rose straight up above us. The trail was pretty much cut into the side of the mountain and heavy chains had been embedded as handholds for personal safety at the worst portions of the path.
Anyway, we decided to stop a little ways off from the seemingly innocent creature(trying to push past a wild animal while tiptoing next to a drop to instant death just didn’t seem like a bright idea understandably). I was second in the lead as we stood together, the third being this special needs kid. He was a good guy, less selfish than the rest of us, but for some fukcing reason he has the sudden bright idea to pick up a fist-sized stone and hurl it, full force, at the unsuspecting animal.
As the rock made contact with the goat’s lower neck muscles I felt a jolt of fear as it started away from us, but as it became obvious that the goat’s flight instincts were kicking in. Any trace of anxiety was quickly replaced by awe as I realized it wasn’t just running away it was jumping up the face of the fucking cliff. It’s white hair gleamed in the sunlight as it leaped majestically from seemingly invisible hoof-holds. It continued for several moments, all of us amazed as we watched it go, and then it was gone.
From that day forward I labeled it as an encounter with Spider-Goat and fear that someday he will seek us out to exact his vengeance. There is no mountain we can climb, no skyscraper we can seek refuge at which will hold sanctuary. Spider-Goat will find us.